I’m not being super creative and metaphorical when I say that right now, what I want most in this world is for Alex to take a gun and shoot me right in the chest and watch the life leave my eyes and then kiss me as I bleed all over the place because I want to die so badly but he’s so perfect that he deserves the privelage of killing me.

Someone please help me. I don’t know how to fix this. I’m scared.